The reason I stopped reading comics altogether was the expense. Marvel upped their cover prices to 2$/issue in order to cover the cost of the new paper and inking processes they were using. Vertigo was already hovering at 1.75-2.50, depending on the title, and I have an unhealthy personality that causes me to buy alot of comics (or CDs, or books, or DVDs). So, things were costly.

While the Marvel newpaper & ink issues looked fantastic, I just couldn't afford all the titles I was reading. I managed to read Hellblazer for another year and a half, but after a few months at college -- where, surprisingly, no one read comics and the nearest store was a long walk -- I gave up. Giving up on Hellblazer at that point wasn't too hard as it was after Ennis had left and the title was going through some transitional writers & artists that really didn't get their act together. Looking back, it's probably the one comic that I would have continued to enjoy, had I kept reading.

The real story, though, is the hell that the X-men line has gone through. For the record, I have not officially returned to the fold. I've picked up a few trade paperbacks of stuff that was highly recommended by Rob, but otherwise I've avoided that weekly addiction that seems so much like crack, except that I get to keep my teeth. I don't see myself buying individual issues for a few reasons (that I'll get to below). But I can't help but be fascinated by the world of the X-men, especially since so little has changed. and yet, so much has.

I stopped reading X-men comics just after the Age of Apocalypse storyline (wherein all of the titles changed for a few months as an alternate reality took over because Xavier was killed by his own son who had gone back in time to kill him before he started the X-men [deep breath] and Apocalypse takes over the world...). It was an...interesting story that, I believe, reached its peaked in the issues right BEFORE the time shift. These were issues where Wolverine and Sabertooth had one of their many fights, but it ended with Wolverine actually severely wounding Sabertooth with a middle claw into his skull (granted, this was in Wolverine, which is an X-title, but not really). Also, Strong Guy has a heart attack after absorbing too much energy in X-factor. Basically, a bunch of really crazy stuff happens that, of course, is sorta retconned when the world is 'corrected' four months later (Sabertooth lives and eventually recovers. yawn.) I was really annoyed with how nothing really stuck after AoA, although, to be fair, Strong Guy does 'retire' and has only recently returned, from what I can tell.

The other annoying thing was the addition of some of the AoA characters that 'slipped' into the regular timeline -- Dark Beast, X-Man, Sugarman. I believe X-man (whose real name escapes me) is the most uninteresting addition to the X-men since Cypher (the one whose power was to understand any language). But I could be biased against people who can speak other languages. Stupid American school system!

Dark Beast was somewhat interesting, but seeing as I didn't keep reading after the AoA, i didn't really get a chance to see what would be done with him. I also didn't get to experience the following idiotic storylines:

Joseph/Magneto. Nothing like a storyline that is started with the intention to have Joseph revealed to be Magneto (which was blatantly obvious) only to have an editorial change years later that makes most of the previous storyline confusing and meaningless. Short version -- apparently Joseph is a clone of Magneto (clones are the first sign that an editorial decision has been made counter to the original idea) or some bullshit.

Onslaught -- it seems like this might have destroyed my ability to read X-men if I hadn't already given up. I still have no idea what this storyline is about -- Xavier's bad personality somehow became a large being with a costume (designed by one of the many manga-cartoony artists that were coming to Marvel at the time) and decided to kill the Avengers and the FF???? I'd like to blame this on Scott Lobdell, who might be the laziest writer ever (did he ever plan more than a few pages ahead when writing?), but this was clearly a fuck-up on Marvel's part, at least according to all the commentary I've read over recently.

Xavier's many personality shifts & flights from law/responsibility -- I can't say for sure, but has Xavier basically lost his mind once a year since 1998? He seems to spend more time pissing the X-men off with his omega mutant wackiness than he does teaching or doing whatever it is that he does for the mansion/school for mutants/gymnasium/rest home.

Chris Claremont returns, again and again -- the man left in a huff, wrote some shitty sci-fi books, didn't have another successful comic and they bring him back like he's the X-men Messiah. They reboot the entire series just for his return, just in time for the first X-men movie to come out, and yet within a year he's booted off Uncanny, gets his own fucking dumbassly titled title -- X-treme X-men -- only to have that one prove itself useless by the end of its 46 issues (as evidenced by the fact that the team simply moves over to Uncanny. Where, of course, Claremont gets yet another chance to prove his usefulness until he got sick. oh, and was moved to New Excaliber and Exiles -- two titles that aren't really part of the main X-universe. I'm just amazed by the fact Marvel kept moving Claremont and retooling all the series when it was clear that other writers were getting credit for breathing new life into the series during the same period (Morrison, Whedon, and, a series I haven't read yet, Milligan with X-Statix). I can see part of the logic -- keep one writer who will appease the traditionalists while these other guys attract new readers or excite others who had become bored. And Claremont is not necessarily the worst writer ever. Apparently that goes to Chuck Austen.

Chuck Austen's reign of terror -- Rob (if you're even reading this) you deserve a medal if you actually read through Austen's time on Uncanny. I have yet to actually read his stuff, but the storylines sound like the result of a mildly retarded monkey transcribing the thoughts of a heavily retarded monkey. And that's really unfair to the skills of monkeys. I am a bit biased here since I've read the summeries and commentary from X-Axis, an X-men site that trashes Austen continuously (though does give him credit for less than stupid ideas). But here is a snippet of an Austen storyline, as described on X-Axis.com:

Austen jettisons Casey's origin story for the Church of Humanity's Supreme Pontiff - which was about the only interesting thing in the original story - and replaces him with a disillusioned Catholic nun who's been, you guessed it, the victim of sexual abuse in the Catholic church. So she sets out to bring down the Church by - brace yourself, this is the good bit - creating an evil plan to instal Nightcrawler as the Pope under an image inducer, and then revealing him as the supposed Antichrist at the same time that she simulates the Rapture. Then Catholics the world over will turn on the Church and the Church of Humanity will step in to take over!

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Wow. That's an incredibly stupid storyline." And do you know what? It's even worse on the page.

You may also be wondering how the Church of Humanity plans to simulate the Rapture. After all, that involves good Catholics being taken up to Heaven. Well, they're going to disintegrate people using evil doctored communion wafers.

I'll just repeat that. The villains are going to usurp command of Catholicism by installing Nightcrawler as the Pope and using murderous disintegrating communion wafers. No, this is not meant to be a comedy story.

Unholy communion wafers. that might be genius. But Nightcrawler as the pope? that's just silly.

Despite all of these crazy things, I've found a few things to be happy about.
Morrison's run on New X-men -- a great mixture of action and character with GREAT art (though that cover to the E for Extinction TPB is pretty bad. Emma Frost looks like she hit herself with the ugly stick for being ugly.) I was confused by some of the issues between that first arc and the Riot at Xavier's, but I am going to read it to the end of his run (and I'll possibly pick up the Omnibus that collects his entire run for $60.00).

Whedon's Astonishing -- Colossus coming back was annoying. I had heard there was a kybosh put on killing characters only to bring them back, but that's clearly was some kind of rumor or false promise as Multiple Man, Cyclops, and Colussus (and probably others) have come back (I'm not sure when MM came back. I just remember him dying of the legacy virus in issue 100 of X-Factor way back when). Anyway, the art for this is fantastic as well. And i'm glad most of the run is already available in trade b/c the delays would drive me nuts. It's good -- but not good enough to maintain momentum over the course of 2 months. Of course, I've already read through the 2 trades, so now I'm stuck waiting for the 3rd and 4th (the latter not coming out anytime soon since the series is still ongoing).

Okay. I've rambled on enough.