Posted by vegetable at 4:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Monarch I'm...

you're sister
pregnant
"on the rag"
already married
a man
a woman
your clone
afraid of commitment
registered with the Guild of Calamitous Intent as a solo villain, which means that we cannot get married under the laws of this land
hungry
too tired for sex

Posted by vegetable at 12:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Posted by Victoria at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey hey! So, Laura and I had the horrible pleasure of seeing Tuesday night's Colbert Report (airing as I type this). The show itself was very funny and watching it filmed was interesting. More on that in a bit. But the really terrible experience of waiting on line has ensured that I probably wouldn't ever do it again. (Plus, I had really bad allergies all day, so that put me in a gloomy mood.)

Anyway, here's how we ended up waiting for what seemed like 17 hours to see an hour long recording session of a 22 minute show. We arrived at 3:30 oclock and waited on line to get a bracelet and blue numbered ticket (317 & 318). We left to get a quick bite to eat (strawberry yogurt and a cookie, if you must know) only to return to find out that we now had to wait on a new line -- and not one that was arranged by ticket number. It was about 4:30 at this point. An hour on that line and we were allowed to go through security to wait for another hour in the hot lobby of the Annenberg Theater while they crammed 600 of us in. At 6:15, we were finally allowed into the theater. Filming (or "the show" which included a warm-up comedian and a brief visit by out-of-character Colbert) was supposed to start at 7 but didn't get going until 7:20. And 70 minutes later, we headed out to our car.

That may not seem like a big deal, especially since the tickets were free, but the sheer lunacy of waiting on 2 lines and getting a numbered ticket that didn't really mean anything was annoying. (they let us in 100 at a time, but we only got in with the right group because we shoved our way to the front -- other, less mobile, folks weren't so lucky).

The potential highlight -- While on line the second time, a guy came around and asked people if they wanted to ask Colbert a question. no one around us took the opportunity. I racked my brain for a good one -- something clever but not dopey. So, I decided to ask him what the most patriotic American rock band was. (And I planned on telling him The Roots were off-limits since that was too easy -- they were the musical guest.)

When I gave this question I didn't realize Colbert would be out of character when he answered the questions. If I had known this I would have asked when he would allow his kids to start watching the show (during his 60 Minutes interview last year he said his kids weren't allowed to watch because he didn't want them to confuse their dad with the man on TV.)

I was chosen to ask my question, along with 9 other people. I got to go back stage (for no reason) to get the rundown and then stood at a microphone in the aisle waiting for my chance. Sadly, they ran out of time.

None of the other questions were good, except for the first one: Are you more afraid of bears or Hillary Clinton? (he said he really is afraid of bears and told a funny story about how when he told his father he was afraid of getting mauled by a bear his dad said 'Ah, with the way medical science is today, we'd sew you right back up!')

So, I didn't get to ask my question. which sucked. But by then I didn't really care. i just wanted to see the show. it was filmed out of order -- The Roots played the opening credits music and also a pretty lame version of the star spangled banner (including a guitar smashing that seemed very 1993). i don't have an opinion of the band either way. I will say that their guitarist can fucking play a guitar. he was thrashing all over. but the drummer was just drumming some random shit and the guitarist was random and the bassist didn't even seem to be playing anything. it was kind of a mess. perhaps a tribute to Bitches Brew era Miles Davis? or just a determined effort to avoid copying Jimi Hendrix's awesome star spangled banner from Woodstock? in any case, Colbert actually picked up a piece of the smashed guitar and had the guitarist sign it. which was pretty funny. then he threw out random pieces into the crowd (not signed ones).

I guess that's about it. If you have about 5 hours to kill and don't mind standing around and waiting alot, I'd say check out the show in NY (apparently the process is pretty similar but the studio holds fewer people.)

Posted by vegetable at 11:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

As you may or may not know, Bobby Flay won last night against the Pop Shop. Bobby Flay's award-winning creation? White bread, goat cheese, brie, sliced green tomatoes, and watercress. [The Pop Shop owners, after tasting it, asided to the camera that it was going to be on their menu next week.]

The Calvert - the Pop Shop's sandwich - was rosemary focaccia, monteray jack cheese, smoked turkey, smoked bacon, avocado, and balsamic mayo.

The judges made a big deal that both sandwiches were really good, but I think we all know that this is a case like Delilah's, where the Food Network obviously did some under the table deals to make sure Bobby Flay came out on top. The crowd definitely seemed to prefer the hometown favorite.

Of course the primary function of the show has been fulfilled: now I am really craving the Pop Shop. Anyone in for this weekend?

Posted by Victoria at 5:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Fast Times at Hero High

Posted by Victoria at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by vegetable at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

http://www.nerve.com/dispatches/nerveeditors/50GreatestComedySketches/01/

Posted by vegetable at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

So, tonight in class someone made a side-comment about how many books with the word "daughter" in the title are out there. Here's a list where daughter is used as a noun.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter
The Professor's Daughter
The Alchemist's Daughter
The Goldminer's Daughter
The Admiral's Daughter
The Abortionist's Daughter
The Communist's Daughter
The Tailor's Daughter
The President's Daughter
The Prodigal Daughter
The Sea King's Daughter
The Thief Queen's Daughter
The Cantor's Daughter
The Bearkeeper's Daughter
The King of Elfland's Daughter
The Gravedigger's Daughter
The Bonesetter's Daughter
The Mistress's Daughter
The Hummingbird's Daughter
The Pirate's Daughter

The Daughter of Time
The Seven Daughters of Eve
The Daughter's of Lancaster County (a trilogy of these titles: The Storekeeper's Daughter, The Quliter's Daughter, The Bishop's Daughter)

A Clergyman's Daughter
A Daughter of Isis

Rashi's Daughters
Galileo's Daughter
Pandora's Daughter
Mr. Darcy's Daughters
Optimist's Daughter
Eve's Daughters
Wizard's Daughter
Abram's Daughters (is technically a series title of 5 books by Beverly Lewis)
Belshazzar's Daughter
Devil's Daughter
Burger's Daughter
Egalia's Daughters
Father Melancholy's Daughter
Somebody's Daughter

Daughter of York
Mara, Daughter of the Nile
Daughter of Fortune
Daughters of the River Huong
Daughter of the River

Daughter: A Novel

I have officially reached the point where the word daughter looks like it's spelled wrong when I type it.

Posted by vegetable at 12:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

The Throwdown with Bobby Flay where Flay takes on our beloved Pop Shop with his goat cheese and blue corn chips will air on Sunday, April 13 at 10 pm.

Posted by Victoria at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The answer to the excellent question, "Why did you watch Reign of Fire?" is that it came on after Fellowship of the Rings on TNT (usually the Law and Order network), and we were too lazy to change the channel. Since we were watching in real time (not Tivo), it was also a rare opportunity to see commercials. The following exchange happened after a toaster pastry commercial which said their product was better than PopTarts.

Mike: No they aren't. PopTarts are good. Too bad they're bad for you.
Me: Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's no food item worse for you than a PopTart.
Mike: They're dangerous, too.
Me: What?
Mike: Have you ever microwaved a PopTart?
Me: Noooooo. I've put them in the toaster.
Mike: Not the same. I'm telling you, if you put them in the microwave, the gooey stuff inside? It becomes burning hot, and it sticks to you. It's like napalm.

So that's our public service announcement for today: PopTarts. Not only unhealthy and not nutritious, but also a handy household weapon.

Posted by Victoria at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Lessons Learned from Reign of Fire:

1) I do not recognize Gerard Butler (This is SPARTAAAHHHHH!) when he has hair. But he is hot either way.

2) Under the right circumstances, Matthew McConaughey could be mistaken for a professional wrestler.

3) What the hell is Christian Bale doing in this piece of crap?

Posted by Victoria at 9:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It is easier to negotiate with the mob than with a multinational corporation, and you will be treated more fairly by the mob.

Posted by Victoria at 8:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)