The answer to the excellent question, "Why did you watch Reign of Fire?" is that it came on after Fellowship of the Rings on TNT (usually the Law and Order network), and we were too lazy to change the channel. Since we were watching in real time (not Tivo), it was also a rare opportunity to see commercials. The following exchange happened after a toaster pastry commercial which said their product was better than PopTarts.

Mike: No they aren't. PopTarts are good. Too bad they're bad for you.
Me: Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's no food item worse for you than a PopTart.
Mike: They're dangerous, too.
Me: What?
Mike: Have you ever microwaved a PopTart?
Me: Noooooo. I've put them in the toaster.
Mike: Not the same. I'm telling you, if you put them in the microwave, the gooey stuff inside? It becomes burning hot, and it sticks to you. It's like napalm.

So that's our public service announcement for today: PopTarts. Not only unhealthy and not nutritious, but also a handy household weapon.