Victoria: November 2006 Archives

So when you tell people you are going to San Francisco, almost everyone mentions the hills. So you know, in advance, that it's hilly. But if you're like me, this information never passes from your "General Information about San Francisco" category to your "How Does This Affect Me while I Am Actually in the City." Also, I would like to state for the record that the street maps of San Francisco are deceiving, and they should pass out topographical maps instead. Because I would see that something was only ten blocks away, and I would think, "That's not far." Little did I know that the ten blocks each would involve an ascent of 500 feet.

Huge Hill

Back of the Trolley
From the Back of a Trolley

Stairs
Stairs I Actually Climbed

We were not in San Francisco for long, and I already felt like I was getting sick before I got on the plane, but I got a lot worse while I was there. But not before I managed to get some photos. I think we stayed in the most touristy part of San Francisco, and we did a lot of the most touristy things, but it was fun.

Alcatraz

Pagodas

Fishing Boats

Fisherman's Wharf

Sea Lion

So San Francisco was fun and beautiful, and I would like to go back, even though it tried to kill me. I'm looking at you, Coit Tower.

Coit Tower

See my complete set on Flickr

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So on this Thursday, November 16, I have a burning question to ask all of my friends and acquaintances:

Team Karen or Team Pam?

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In the comments: Give K-Fed some job suggestions now that Britney has dumped his lame ass.

I personally like Wawa clerk and pizza delivery boy.

UPDATE: You can also make suggestions for D. Rumsfeld since he, too, is out of a job.

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So Mike and I went and voted this morning. I won't reveal who we voted for, but sufficed to say my candidates will probably win the elections, and his most definitely will not. His candidate undeniably had the better commercials, though.

kang%20kodos.jpg

Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles.

Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us.

Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.

Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.

Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away.

[Kang and Kodos laugh out loud]
[Ross Perot smashes his "Perot 96" hat]

It was a little strange because they had the newfangled computerized voting machines that are probably preprogrammed to register my vote as Republican. It made me a little nostalgic for the levers. Two years ago... those were the days.

More Real Life Translations

My all-time favorite recipe site Epicurious has a little Thanksgiving survey up.

After Thanksgiving dinner is over, you:
a) Scrub the kitchen inside and out
b) Help clear away the table
c) Turn on the TV and watch football

I am not at all advocating gender stereotypes, but this survey screams to me:

Are you:
a) A woman
b) A guest or child
c) A man

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So I am addicted to the Food Network, and there is a commercial that I see fairly frequently there for peanut butter. It goes like this:

Two boys, both around 6, run up to their mom with the last slice of bread. They both want it for their favorite treat, a slice of crappy white bread spread with peanut butter.

The mom suggests they split it. "All right," one of them sighs, "but [insert annoyingly trendy boy's name here]'s piece can't be bigger than mine."

Mom: "Well, how about [annoyingly trendy boy's name #1] gets to cut..."

Annoyingly Trendy Boy #1: Yesss!

Mom: "...but [annoyingly trendy boy's name #2] gets to choose."

Annoyingly Trendy Boy #2: Awesome!

Boy #2 picks the bigger slice, and both eat happily.

Boy #2: My slice sure was big, wasn't it?

Boy #1 (laughing): Yeah, it was.

So here is this heartwarming scene, rendered in the misty glow of my childhood. Of course for this to work, it would have to be over something my brother and I would actually argue about, and not a slice of bread with fucking peanut butter. We'll say it's a candy bar.

Vicki: Mom, there's only one candy bar left and [Brother] won't share!

Mom: If you kids can't learn to share, then neither of you will get any of it. Cut it in half.

[Brother]: But her half can't be bigger than mine!

Mom: What did I just say? Do you want this candy or not?

Mom cuts candy bar and distributes pieces.

Vicki: Wow, my half sure is big, isn't it?

[Brother] starts to cry.

Mom: That's it.

Mom takes the pieces back and eats them herself.

Mom: Remember that next time.

Bonus Commercial ~

Voiceover: Why ask your doctor about cosmetic Botox?

Woman: Because I am a vain, vain person.

I have a feeling this might become a regular series.

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Special guest Evan joins us for Podcasts 7 and 8!